Stop being a victim

What happens in your life and how it unfolds has a lot to do with your mindset.  How you view an obstacle, a challenge, a roadblock will have a direct effect on the outcome. I have a handful of training clients that seem to be magnets for drama.  Things are always “happening” to them, and I hear statements such as, “I just can’t catch a break”… repeatedly.  Do you think that perhaps you might have had some small contribution to the mountain of shit that just landed in your lap?  I think you do.

You have to take control of your life.  It is your obligation to look at the hand of cards you are holding and review each one… What can you delegate to someone else? What can you say NO to? What has to be done by you and you alone? What issues can you get some help with? Be honest with yourself. Often times you take on way too much out of fear of someone not doing it “your” way or the way you think it SHOULD be done.  Sometimes you truly are the only person that can handle a specific task. And there are other times when you say YES to something because that’s the way it has always been and you feel it’s “easier” for everyone if you handle it than to hand it off.

If you keep taking on jobs or projects, eventually your plate will be full and you may not have the energy or resources for an unexpected demand, perhaps even one that is important to you.  You will eventually burn yourself out.

First thing to do is stop saying or thinking, “Why does this always HAPPEN TO ME?”… I literally cringe when I hear people say these words.  Guess what, they happen to you because you expect them to.  You’ve already made it up in your subconscious mind that things are not going to go well… so let’s just kill it now before anyone else has the chance to disappoint you. I mean, really… why get your hopes up?  (insert sarcasm)

What this is really saying is you don’t believe you deserve what you want.

When shit does happen to you, because let’s face it, sometimes things may take a turn we’re not thrilled with…. Figure out what you can control…. and what are the options you have at hand. What I have learned over the years is most people feel helpless because they are so busy staring at a closed-door, or an obstacle in the way.  Take a look around, throw out some “help” calls and see what opens up.  There is always more than one way to solve a problem or resolve an issue and your pride may need to simmer down so that you can get some help and move forward.

Life doesn’t stop or slow down.  Things keep moving forward and you have to also.  How do you view issues or problems?  Do you see the opportunities? There are lessons in everything, you simply need to open your eyes and ears. Put your ego in check, stop being proud… ask for help.  Sometimes just making a list and writing down what you can control vs. what you “need” to do will help.  Stop being a victim and take control.

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